The Last Co-op Party: A Review

Well, since I'm in State College, I obviously had nothing better to do this weekend besides attend another "super creatively themed" get-together at the Co-op. I arrived at about 11:00 pm, with Nate Oakes and Sarah Fay. Here's how it went:

HIGHLIGHTS:

• Will Subler was there, sporting a slick new haircut. Later, Will met an elvish girl who probably went to Delta and got her phone number. Though she had already made out with two other men before Will caught her attention, she seemed pretty charmed by him and also met the difficult height requirement for Will's love interests of "has to be shorter than Will." I have high hopes for this one, folks, I'll keep you posted as things progress!
• Carlo Sica wasn't there.
• Corey did not d.j.

• At 3:00 am, it turned back into 2:00 am, so in a way I only wasted three hours of my night, instead of four.

LOWLIGHTS:

• I had to pay three dollars to get into a BYOB party. Although it was obvious by the evidence of a strong scent that stuffing was somewhere in the house, nobody was sharing. Elitist vegan bastards. (What do you stuff it into if you're anti-meat?!) I guess I paid three dollars to make that Justin kid feel better about himself by locking people out of his bedroom who had no interest in going in in the first place. Money well spent IMO! LOL!
• I really had to pee, but the pantry/bathroom had a hefty waiting list, so I exited out the side door to utilize the restroom in the other building. This lead to two unfortunate occurances:

1. I ran into a glass door, severely damaging the bridge of my already-unsightly Polish nose. Four days after the fact, it is still black and blue. Gross!
2. After I managed to open aforementioned transparent door, I was greeted, or rather denied by an androgynous, overweight person in a typical co-op resident condescending way, informing me that "there are no party-ers in this house,and no, I could not use the bathroom!" I'm going to say this person was a girl just for the sake of being able to use the gender-specific description of "huge bitch" to convey "her" attitude towards me. I suppose I can understand not wanting to be bothered by drunks at my place of resident, but I also keep these feelings in mind when choosing NOT to live in cooperative housing known for frequent parties. It's these wise decisions that I believe have contributed to me not becoming an overweight androgynous bitch.

I'd like to say I've learned my lesson and won't go to another one of these overpriced, glorified "stopping to chat with alterna-teens at Websters who won't give you booze" type events, but I mean, I'll probably be at the next one. Sigh.